Jewish Women Who Keep It Covered

I'm not sure about you, I frequently find myself explaining Jewish traditions to Goys across America. Since I moved to the Bay Area I seem to always find myself as the lone Jew, and so to my friends and acquaintances out here, I come to represent the overall faith. This is quite the task. I am but one Little Yenta, how can I possibly represent the Jewish people? (And truth be told, I've sometimes had to look up facts that I haven't thought about since Hebrew School!)

One of the things that I always try to explain, is that unlike the Catholic Church, Jews dont have a governing body that makes policy for all of us. And, on top of that, there are very distinct sects of Jews, Modern Reformed Jews are practically an entire different religion than the Orthodox. Yes, we have a lot in common and when necessary we band together. But....day to day, we're very different and the Hasidic and Reformed, for example, don't really co-mingle on a regular basis.

A friend of mine once heard that Jewish women shave their heads when they get married and cover their bodies "like Muslims" (she said). I had to explain to her what the deal was, but again, impress upon her that I have no intention of ever shaving my head on my wedding day. And, she's seen me in a bikini at the beach, I'm obviously not about to go to Vegas and wear anything "modest".

I was trolling through CNN.com's Belief Blog and when I came across this article. It talks about a small sect of Orthodox women that are really taking the body covering to a new level.

I would be very curious to learn more about these women's teachings (not to ever start wearing a Sal), but because I'm interested as to the purpose. If you read the article carefully, it almost seems like the underlying point is to one up Arabs, not to necessary be more religous. I get the distinct impression that this whole movement was thought up as a way to push down Arabs, but these women have been told differently. Maybe I'm overly paranoid, but I seem to see sub-text in this article.

It's no secret that Jews and Arabs don't exactly hold hands and sing songs of love in Israel, but do we really need to start one upping Arab women in modesty?

What if this movement eventually finds its way to the US? Here is another article, but this one is about Muslim women in the US and the reaction they get to their coverings. If Jews in the Us start to get into Muslim-like coverings I have no doubt that Americans will start to see Jews and Muslims as the same.

Does anyone else ever find themselves watching 19 Kids and Counting on TLC? It's about ultra-religious Christians and their jumbo sized family. They wear what they describe as "modest" dressing. The women don't cover their hair (in fact they dont cut their hair because they think that's what G-d wants), but you'll never see their knees or shoulders. It's an interesting theme that's weaved throughout all major religons. Perhaps, it's not the issue of different religons....maybe its just all the Orthodox from the 3 big religons that are the problems?

Now, I'm not advocating for Jews to be more modest, nor do I think every Jew needs to starting wearing belly shirts and Daisy Dukes everyday. I'm really just an outsider looking in at this issue. I think Jewish women should be stylish and sophisiticated, wear what is best for you and your shape. Stay classy ladies...except when in Vegas!

I'd Love to Own a Canadian!

Who has heard about the latest Dr. Laura Schlesinger drama? She announced on her show that as an observant Jew she believes that homosexuality is wrong, as so it says in the Torah.

So, there is an open letter to her on Facebook with a few key questions for her.

Leviticus 25:44 states that it's okay to own another human being from a neighboring country, so therefore, I can own a Canadian right? (PS - I was never taught this in Hebrew school)

Dr. Schlesinger, why are you doing this??? Us reformed Jews have worked so hard in the last 20 years to become accepted by mainstream Americans as "normal dudes", and even the Orthodox rabbis in the US put out an open letter last week saying that homosexual Jews are to be valued as equals, so obviously they've gotten on this bandwagon too. Why must you send us backwards? Or, worse yet, why would you side with the crazy religious right wingers?? Haven't you gotten the memo that as a Jew you're supposed to be socially a bit more liberal than the rest?

Oy Gay!

Jenny Aniston

Poor Jennifer Aniston. "Papa Bear" Bill O'Reily is announced on national television that her actions are hurting the fabric of society. He is upset that she wants to have a baby without a baby daddy.

Has he been  under a rock for the last 7 years? The poor girl was left by her husband in a very public fashion for Angelina Jolie and she hasn't been able to replace him! We've got to give this poor shiksa credit though, she even went out with John Mayer. Why?

Obviously she just hasn't tried on a nice Jewish boy for size. I think, if anything, she's a great example for women. She wants to have a baby and has not found a suitable partner, so off to her local sperm bank she goes!

What would Mr. O'Reily prefer? That she settles on some loser baby daddy?

I'm Jewish Too

One of my biggest pet peeves is when religious Jews turn their nose up at Jews such as myself. Am I not Jewish? Did my family not leave Europe in 1934 with so many other jews to leave behind religious persecution? 

I've had my Bat Mitzvah.

I maintain a synagogue membership and remain active in the local Jewish community as best I can. 

I am open about my inner Jew (something so many American Jews are not).

Really? Am I not Jewish? 

I was bothered to read this article. The news article documents a new Israeli law that the Knesset is trying to push through. The short version of this story is that Jews like me living in the Diaspora (outside of Israel) would not be considered Jewish and therefore not be granted Israeli citizenship on the spot anymore. 

Excuse me? Let me remind these crazy ultra orthodox rabbis that it's Jews like me that send millions of dollars every year to Israel and lobby to get our government here to protect Israel and help it as much as possible. Now you try to say that I'm not Jewish enough to be given citizenship?

What about the reformed Jews that serve in the army in Israel? None of the ultra orthodox Jews do their time in the army, they are all exempt. And yet they would turn to their fellow country men and women who fight for them and say that they're not Jewish enough? 

This is very upsetting, although not surprising. The orthodox have always looked upon us reformed Jews as half breeds. I am not half of anything.  The orthodox need to calm down and think long and hard before they alienate the overwhelming majority of the world Jewry. 

I have always said that I would be more than happy to go live in Israel, but it will be a sad day when that isn't even an option anymore. 

I suggest that every Reformed Jew in America write a letter to Netanyahu and let him know that the day that we are no longer welcome to move back to Israel is the day that we stop giving so generously. Tell him that Yenta sent you! 

Jews and Divorce

There's no way to deny it, divorce is the norm. It really has nothing to do with religion anymore. Off the top of my head I think of at least one Catholic, Mormon, Muslim, Christian and Jewish couple that have gotten a divorce. A few decades ago all of these religions would have looked down upon these couples for calling it quits. I don't know what goes on in any of these other religions, but Jews don't bat an eyelash.

I sometimes wonder if the divorce rate spike is skewed. If women could have freely gotten a divorce decades ago without the social ramifications would they have? Women used to rely on their husbands for everything, and now we don't really need them. Women can even have children on their own now, so men may just become a thing of the past!

The head rabbi at my parent's synagogue is divorced. He and his new wife each have kids from a previous marriage and mind you, the synagogue hired him after his divorce and no one thought twice about it. He's a nice guy with great rabbinical experience, why wouldn't they hire him?

There is also a certain amount of mysticism around divorce in certain circles. For example, I happen to know someone who was raised reformed, who married someone that was raised orthodox. They had a nice (and quick! because who wants to wait to eat??) reformed marriage service and lived a nice reformed, quasi conservative (Jewish, not political) lifestyle. Sounds great, right?

Well, with the divorce rate above 50% in this country, it's not completely shocking that their union did not last. Well now this once orthodox Jew is asking my friend, the reformed Jew, for a GET.  And as you can see, the orthodox take these Gets very seriously. 

For any Goys in the audience, a Get, is a Jewish divorce document. It is like a Catholic annulment, it basically says that the marriage did not happen. I do not understand why anyone would care about a Get.

I know plenty of rabbis who will preform a second Jewish wedding ceremony without a Get. All they care about is that the first marriage is legally dissolved. (by a nice Jewish lawyer of course)

I don't think that a Get or annulment will ever really prove anything. While marriages can legally be undone, each party leaving the marriage will be leaving with battle scars that will never be undone. Who cares about a Get?

So Yenta, you ask, how can people avoid divorce? According to CNN, premarital therapy is the answer.

It sounds like it's a good start. Therapy never hurts. I found an interesting article on Jewish premarital therapy and the rabbi quoted explains that many couples that hire her to officiate their ceremonies view a wedding as a final step as opposed to one step in the lifecycle. I agree with this rabbi's perspective. Movies and books can make a wedding seem like its the end, but it really never is, is it?

I am also impressed with the Los Angeles Jewish premarital course that is referenced in this article. Each engaged couple must meet with a financial planner prior to getting married. Money is always said to be the number one thing that couples fight over, so why not just deal with this issue head on?

Chelsea Lately?

Obviously I am behind the times, as I just learned that Chelsea Handler, star of Chelsea Lately broke up with her boyfriend earlier this year and is now dating Dave Salmoni, an animal trainer.

Oh Chelsea, why won't you just go on JDate? Obviously these Goys are no good for you!

I happen to think that Chelsea is fantastic. She is from Livingston, NJ, which is where I was born. I then grew up a few miles down the highway. She's also a half Jew, but admits to not liking the other half (Morman). So, on behalf of the entire Jewish population, I want to extend the invitation to Chelsea to no longer be half Jew. We want you kid! You've got CHUTZPAH and we want you on our team!

Pelosi Follow Up

I wanted to add that up until her recent statements my biggest buggaboo with Ms. Pelosi was always her Botox. She has perma-shock! Her physician should be ashamed. She makes the rest of us who dabble with Botox (or Dysport) recreationally look bad.

C'mon Nancy, get it together. No one believes that you naturally can't move your forehead. You're tettering  on Joan Rivers territory.

Politics and Yentas

In the last 6 to 8 months I have almost completely stopped watching 24 hour newschannels like I used to. I used to wake up and throw on the news, come home from work and watch some more. But I've found that I'm a lot less irritable when I'm not so "in touch" with the political scene. So as a result I've taken to reading the news online a few times a week and only watching the news 1 to 2 days a week in short bits. I'm a lot happier! I really recommend it. I just came to this realization that I will always vote the same way, no matter how many commentators I hear, so why get myself so worked up? Plus, these 24 hour news channels really only give the news 25% of the time, the rest of the time it's people debating. And like a good little Yenta, I love me some debating!! I get so worked up and start reseraching how to get myself on one of these shows. I should have been a lawyer quite frankly.

So just this morning I was poking around online and catching up on the world's events. (Posting on Prop 8 to come in a seperate entry) As I was clicking through to a conservative blog that I sometimes check in on I found an interesting article that really made my blood boil....

But first, for the record, I don't identify myself as a conservative at all. I do however like to hear their side of the story so I can better understand them and then in turn better debate them. It's like the whole idea of doing your research before you go into battle, otherwise how can you have a plan. And, I also don't think of myself as a "crazy liberal". I am socially very liberal but financially I'm sort of in the middle of the road. So I like to hear from both liberals and conservatives.

So this article was about speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi. She was quoted just last week saying that she has a duty to make political decisions based on the values of Christ. WHAT?? Really Nancy Pelosi? REALLY?? You represent San Francisco, one of the few places in America where a politician doesn't have to put on a religious front to get elected. We like our politics to be seperated from religion, thank you very much!

And for the record I lived in SF for 7 years and voted for Ms. Pelosi on multiple occasions. (let the record state that she runs basically unopposed, save for a few randoms that don't stand a chance, but even so I wasn't upset about not having a choice...I like knowing that I played a part in empowering the very first female speaker of the house! This one is for the ladies!!) But now, after reading this, it makes me wish that I had written myself in just to make a point.

Why must politicans bring Jesus into everything? I can see how a politican from a very conservative and religious area could do this, but if Pelosi is on this bandwagon then we don't stand a chance!

Whatever happened to a nice seperation of church and state? I mean none of the Jewish politicans are out there saying that they make their decisions based on Moses or Abraham, or even G-d!

I bring a big question to the table: do you think Pelosi actually feels this way, or do you think she said this because politics is really just a giant game and she was trying to appeal to a certain group of people? (while alienating her Jewish voters!!) What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

Clinton Wedding

So Chelsea Clinton has married a Jew! Quite Frankly, I blame Jill Zarin, of NY Housewife fame. She famously went on national television and told the country that Jewish men make the best husbands. Well DUH! But that was supposed to be OUR secret. I also noticed that on the season premier of the NJ Housewives that Teresa told her daughter to marry a Jew because Jewish men cater to their wives. How did our secret get out?!?! We need a gag order immediately! These shiksa's will be invading synagogues soon! This is grave concern to this Yenta. I know a lot of single Jewish women who would love a nice single Jewish investment banker like Chelsea's new husband. Plus, he's tall! How many fantastic single Jewish investment bankers are tall?!? Honestly!

Or what about Donald Trumps daughter? She married a Jew last year, and actually converted for him and is famously keeping a kosher household! Good for them, but really, what about all the nice single Jewish girls in NY? I'm sure they'd like a piece of her hubby.

The least these shiksas can do is convert like Ms. Trump. If for no other reason than to prevent mass heart failure of old Jewish women around the world!

I will say that I was pretty excited to see a photo slapped across all major news outlets of Ms. Clinton and her beau walking down the aisle with him in a tallis. There is something so cool about being so open with your Jewishness. Its like he said to the world  "hell ya, I'm a Jew and I just married into a Christian poltiical family and NO I will not be changing my ways! Good for him! Keep on Jewing it up Jewy McJewerson!

But this begs the question: why is everyone marrying outside the religion? Now, full disclosure, I live with my non-praciticing Catholic boyfriend and we are looking to buy a condo and get married. However, in my case, it has been made very clear that all children will be Jewish and have their B'nai Mitzvahs. And like a good Yenta, I will make it clear that my heart will be broken if they date outside of the religion. (do as I say children, not as I do!)

But more on my particular situation later....

Lindsay Lohen: The Yenta's View

Yes, yes, I know. Lindsay Lohen isn't Jewish. However, she's been all over every major news outlet for the last few weeks. I dont really care about her, and in fact, I was happy that she had to go jail. Obviously she hadn't learned her lesson, and I'm sick of all the celebrities that somehow get off the hook for doing things that would get the rest of us mortals in major trouble. But she was just released from jail, and I have to wonder if she learned any lesson whatsoever.

What is your take on her situation?

This does, however, make me think about Jewish parenting in general. My parents were always pretty relaxed, I never had a curfew, and in fact, my parents generally let me do anything as long as I got straight A's. In high school a few people made remarks to me about how "oh well Jewish parents are just easy going" or "it's because you're Jewish". I had never thought about my particular situation until I heard these comments, and then upon further investigation I noticed that generally my Jewish friends also had relaxed parents and my non-Jewish friends did not.

For a split second I thought that perhaps its because when Jews turn 13 we become adults upon completing our B'nai Mitzvahs. But, really? Does any Jewish parent think of their 14 or 16 year old as an adult?  That seems a bit simplistic to me.

Maybe it's a paradigm shift, and it's the idea that their children are on their way to adulthood? And as such, parents tend to allow their children the room to step into adulthood with less invasive guidance?

Do you think Lindsay Lohen would be in a different situation if she were raised by Jewish parents? (as I write this, I realize that I don't even know what religion, if any, she was raised with)

This also makes me think about Scientology, which for the record, this Yenta considers a cult. When the whole Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes procreation happened there was a lot of media coverage about Scientology. I remember reading in one magazine (probably something very reputable like US Weekly, which is obviously a hard hitting news outlet that fact checks, HA) an interview with some members of Scientology. They talked about how Scientology wants all parents to treat children more like adults, and rather than tell their children how to behave, they encourage parents to give children options. That seems pretty reasonable to me. Perhaps they stole the Jewish parents handbook?